Confession 1.02

Ever wish you came into a certain piece of knowledge or information in the past. You think to yourself "If I would have known this last month, year, etc" I'm currently reading a book titled "Boy Meets Girl" and I'm loving it. I'm loving it so much that I'm reading it at work when I need to be working.

Anyways it looks at relationships from a biblical standpoint. Dating with a purpose and how romance can be chaperoned by wisdom.

I confess YES I am going through a period of fasting (you can say) from men. Not dating, kicking it, hanging out, all of that unless in a group setting but nothing one on one (I'm not a prude and I enjoy having fun. I found myself liking this guy in which I so impatiently shared my feelings to him. Afterwards I thought maybe that wasn't a good idea. With more prayer and reading I know it wasn't a good idea.

Why couldn't I have had this book 2 weeks ago before I so candidly and selfishly opened myself up. If I'm taking this time to set myself away from men to develop a deeper relationship with God then I have to trust God and the plan he has for my life.
Something I never thought about was asked in the book and it made me take a more mature thought towards relationships.

In glorifying God you put your needs and interest aside and base your decision on what serves the other person. So I asked myself

Is starting this relationship now what's best for him?

Will expressing all my feelings now serve him?

Considering I didn't and don't plan on starting a relationship right now... it wasn't wise to share my thoughts. In expressing my feelings I didn't consider his feelings. I didn't think about if this is what he needed to hear. I didn't think about his spiritual journey and if this would be a distraction for him.

Most importantly I didn't trust GOD. Although I can't take back my past I can be intentional on how I move forward. I can be committed to my fast from men right now and continue developing my relationship with God.

Well since I've decided to change my lifestyle and make God my focus I want to be transparent (my new favorite word). I want to "keep it real" (my not so favorite phrase). I want people to see the things I am challenged with although I have chosen this lifestyle.